Brady and Belichick v Ryan and Quinn in a Taboo Takedown!
As we come to the climax, culmination, and conclusion of yet another NFL season, we find ourself with familiar faces from the northeast in this year’s Super Bowl. Although their adversaries aren’t quite as seasoned, they are no doubt eager to strut their stuff. We’ve seen the up-and-coming QB/HC tandem from Atlanta move the ball on almost every opposing defense, but do they have what it takes to takedown Brady and Belichick in a battle of strategy, wit, and composure in the big game, of TABOO. Can the new kids on the block move through those cards as well as they moved through the Packers? Or will the savvy vets be too much to overcome? We’re here to break it down.
| Brady/Belichick | Ryan/Quinn | |
| Strength | These two have built up a reputation as one of the best QB/Coach combos of all time. We expect Brady will know exactly what Belichick is thinking just by looking into his eyes | Our experts expect Ryan and Quinn to bring a bit more of a new school approach to this and use their quickness to their advantage by using quick reads to flash through the cards |
| Weakness | Expect them to struggle with the pop culture cards. Don’t think these two spend much time outside of the film room keeping up with current events | Their quickness also plays to their disadvantage because in order to keep the cards flowing they’ll need to pass on the cards they don’t get right away. High risk high reward play |
GAMEPLAY: As the cards start flipping, watch for Belichick to be a stickler for the rules and use any edge he can while reffing for the other players. Quinn will likely take a backseat to Ryan who we believe will emerge as the natural leader of their squad. It’s going to be tough for the QBs no to use hand signals while giving the clues, so there may be some argument over the legality of hints given, but we’ve all seen rule bending from some of them in the past.
CONCLUSION:. Even though the boys from New England are the heavy favorite going in ,we expect the winner of this one will likely be the one that can stay consistent and keep the penalties to a minimum. With only one minute on the clock and no timeouts it’s going to be who can perform under the pressure of the falling sand. Who will be crowned as the kings of Taboo?
Leave a comment and let us know what you think!
Who has what it takes to finish the season?
It’s a new year, and as we welcome in 2017 we find ourselves right at the pinnacle of the college football bowl season! Our experts thought that there is no better way to usher in this new year than with our first mascot challenge! We learned this past Sunday, in an awesomely boring fashion, that the BCS championship will be the Tide of Alabama v the Tigers of Clemson. So what better than a mascot mashup that to pit these two rivals against each other in everyone’s favorite tailgating pastime, cornhole! Can the Tiger withstand the defensive prowess of Big Al? We’re here to break it down.
| Big Al | The Tiger | |
| Strength | Al’s strength is definitely the low flyers. He likes keeping those bags close to the ground where he knows he can produce | Recent exhibitions have shown his ability to float in the clutch dimes. Watchout for the airaid of the Tiger to come out and sink some corn in the hole early |
| Weakness | Those SEC mascots don’t like to air it out. If forced to throw a long ball, this could get ugly | There was some noise from the naysayers early on with whether or not the Tiger could hang with the big boys. He might just be overmatched here against Big Al |
| Strategy | Alabama’s homer will likely show the same strategy he used all year, ground n pound. Rely on that big body of his and superior shoulder muscles to wear down the Tiger down the stretch. Roll Tide | He’s gonna have to keep the mistakes to a minimum and play his own game if he has a chance to pull this one out. |
PLAYING FIELD: Rumors reached our headquarters that the showdown will take place in a parking lot somewhere along the sunny shores of the greater Tampa Bay area. No word yet on whose fans will travel better to support for their local cornholer.
MATCHUP TO WATCH: Look for the gameday highlights to showcase the opening tosses of these two mascots. We expect Big Al to set an aggressive tone early, possibly opening with some low ched, so watch to see how the Tiger responds.
CONCLUSION: We know Al comes in a heavy favorite as the top cornholer in the nation, so it’s going to be no easy upset for the Tiger. The elephant has found ways to win all year, but spectators often doze off during his contests. We just hope this back and fourth toss off is more exciting that the semi-final rounds.
Leave us a comment and let us know what you think!
Jack and Zach compete to be the ultimate mall Santa!
Your wife drags you and your family out to the mall for another arduous day of shopping monotony and frustration then BOOM, little Johnny sees Santa and it’s all over. Shopping is now looking pretty exciting compared to waiting in line behind some girl who feels compelled to rehearse what she is going to say to Santa for 2 hours. Now ordinarily this situation is dreaded by any parent with a heartbeat, but today is your lucky day! We debate the ultimate mall Santa! Jack Black and Zach Galifianakis go head to head spreading holiday cheer within the confines of your local shopping center!
Now this one is a little different that usual, because we have seen a sneak peek at how both these Santas would act, with Jack Black trying to cheer up Debbie Downer and Zach G. doing his own Santa interpretation on the podcast Comedy Bang! Bang! But that won’t stop us from giving you our expertly broken down analysis!
| Jack Black | Zach Galifianakis | |
| Setting | It might be hard to pin down this wrestling Santa. Could be making surprise appearances all over, but unfortunately you may have to sit through an opening act. | Now obviously we’ve seen where Zacha Clause hangs out, and the couch really didn’t cut it for us, so we were suggesting some sort of fern integration or possibly an outdoor setting |
| Outfit | Now the Jolly Jack we saw in Debbie Downer stuck to the traditional Santa look, but our suggestions might be to spice it up a bit with maybe a leather studded belt, braided beard, and sleeveless jacket | Zach may have lost his advantage here because he already has the beard working for him, but he’s been losing the signature Santa build in favor of a more Bradley Cooper type physique |
| What to watch for | We think it’d be tough for Jack Black to keep in his inner melodies, so all we can do is hope for a musical interlude every 100-125 kids to break up the monotony of all the little 8 year olds asking for a new iPad | Be careful not to miss the slight pervy innuendos that Galifianakis loves to throw around. His humor would definitely play to the parents, at least we’d hope so. |
THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT – Well when it comes to spirit, no one outdoes Mr. Black, but as we have seen before, even his jovial enthusiasm can be dampered by a downer. Galifianakis has a more steady persistence to him and knows how to keep even the worst of situations from having an influence on his conviviality….or whatever emotion he has. Either way, this one is a win win.
Leave a comment and let us know whose lap you’d rather sit on!
Our Christmas decorating hotshots go head to head!
As we emerge from our Turkey comas and scramble for Christmas goodies, we have arrived in prime season for Christmas decorating. And no one does it better than our two favorite Christmas movie misfits, Clark Griswold and Buddy the Elf. For this week’s holiday special we decided to put these great decorators holiday spirit head to head in a matchup which we can only expect to be imaginative, ingenious, incredible, inspiring, and, of course, illuminating. Can the home-grown hero of Chicago take down the North Pole’s finest? We’re here to debate
| Clark Griswold | Buddy | |
| Style | We would say the Griswold’s house has some art deco stylings with a taste of mid-century modern flavors | Buddy goes more for the traditional style but has the ability to throw in some homemade touches |
| Lighting | No one outshines Clark’s 25,000 lights, although he has no lite brite game | Where Clark goes more for the wow factor, Buddy seems to use more lighting integration techniques into things like trees, signs, and snowflakes |
WHAT TO WATCH FOR: Watch for the hidden motivations that lie beneath all the glory. We know Buddy has the Christmas spirit, drive, and determination needed to be an elite holiday decorator, but we think Clark has other motives. His wife may have tapped onto something when she asked if he’s just trying to get away from his family. We believe no one has more perseverance, persistence, and tenacity than a man escaping the in-laws.
CONCLUSION: We know the heavy favorite going into this was going to be Buddy, but Clark is definitely a darkhorse in this race. He may not have the speed and efficiency of the Elf, but after a few meltdowns and a bit of troubleshooting he can brighten up anyone’s night. This one may be closer than people think!
Leave a comment and let us know who you think is the decorator to beat!
Pilgrims v Indians chunk it out
Everybody knows that Thanksgiving is a holiday that was conceived by the friendship forged by the Pilgrims and the Native Americans. So for our fall classic here at ED, we decided to set these two longtime friends against each other in everyone’s favorite Thanksgiving pastime, Punkin Chunkin. If these two had to compete to see who could send a pumpkin furthest into the horizon, who would have the edge? Would the Pilgrims advanced tech of the time be enough to surpass the craftiness and ingenuity of the clever Indians? We’re here to break it down.
| Pilgrims | Indians | |
| Strength | Advancements in materials and joinery will definitely play into the hand of the Puritans | Knowledge of the resources available could lead to some tactical advantages |
| Chunker | Look for a well designed fulcrum trebuchet out of the Pilgrim camp, heavily influenced by the work of the great European inventors of the 15th century | The Natives are certainly known for their bow skills, and this would be no exception with a sturdy and reliable bow action catapult |
| Pumpkin | We’d say that the newfound Bostonians would most likely use a variety of the winter squash due to the compliments of low-calories and high fiber! | We believe the Indians would use a field pumpkin to get a good weight distribution and keep things classic |
PILGRIMS: Also known as Team Cape Cod Chunkers, the Pilgrims will certainly look to show off their superior chunkin ability on the Indians home turf. Watch for integrations from the Santa Maria, because the third ship was pretty much expendable anyways. Possible decorations for their chunker may include a triple black paintjob with white trim, and a well stocked assortment of pies and fresh dairy. But no buckles!!! Pilgrims never had buckles!!!
INDIANS: The Indians, better known as Team Bowin’ Chunks will try and defend their home field by showing those Pilgrims whose chief. No illegal immigrant is going to come to their country and out chunk them! It is sure to be a festive display for Bowin’ Chunks as their catapult could be decorated with accessories such as a full head dress, the Florida State fight song as entrance music, and a reservation to the winners podium. Just hope those bleepin Cubs don’t show up.
No doubt this is going to be a chunk to remember. Leave a comment and let us know what you think!
There’s a new brand of Cowboy these days
Tis the season, the season of transitions that is. Trump has his White House transition well underway, while a new brand of quarterback is emerging in Dallas. Dak Prescott has taken the NFL by storm and is now the new leader of America’s team, no easy pill for Tony to swallow. But could the old franchise QB have another career as a Cowboy ahead of him? This got our experts thinking, if cattle needed to be wrangled or a horse needed shoeing, who would be up for the task? Both of these guys have shown their aptitude for the field, but what about the ranch? We’re here to break it down.
| Dak Prescott | Tony Romo | |
| Wrangling Cattle | We know the big arm of Dak has the range for the deep lasso, but we’re still not sure he has the finesse needed to be a worthy wrangler | This event comes down to experience, and we think the salty vet has the touch and craftiness to gain the edge here |
| Branding | Still remains to be seen if the new face of the franchise will be able to find the success in the branding world. Watch out for possible joint ventures with Zeke the Freak | We know Romo knows how to brand with blockbusters like Romo and Juliet and Broke Back Romo, along with the hit single Wake Me Up Before You Romo |
| Bull Riding | Gotta love the youngster in this one, and he has plenty of experience hanging around for 8 seconds, especially behind that offensive line | Probably going to be a tough go for Romo considering the past injuries, this one is a young man’s game |
CONCLUSION: We expect the youngblood to have the physical advantage over Romo, but don’t sleep on the old-timer. The undrafted free agent has made a career of surpassing expectations. Rumors are spreading that Tony might take his cowboying services elsewhere now that Dak has locked up the Dallas turf, so watch to see what city needs a new farmhand.
Leave a comment and give us your expert opinion!
Will Canada or Mexico be our place of refuge?
This election season gave us no shortage of twists, turns, speculations, surprises, drama, and, indigestion. Going into judgment day, it was hard to believe anyone could be excited for either outcome, but alas, the votes have been tallied, numbers crunched, and the final results have been declared. Our new president come 2017, the Donald. Which leaves us with only one question, where will find our haven from this calamity, Canada or Mexico? Will our hockey playing buddies to the north be our next neighbors? Or will we wake up from this hangover greeted with warm homemade tortillas and menudo? We’re here to break it down.
| Canada | Mexico | |
| Pros | Who wouldn’t want to polish off a two-four with your best friend, buddy, or guy! And you can to tune-in to Terrance and Phillip on your local broadcasting | Waking up to tropical beaches and spicy senoritas is enough to brighten anyone’s day |
| Cons | Might be stuck listening to the likes of Barbra Streisand, Ne-Yo and Miley Cyrus who said they’d be knocking on Canada’s door after a Trump win | As George Lopez so keenly pointed out, soon Mexico may have an immigration problem, which could cause a tax increase in order to pay for a wall to keep out all the freeloading Americans |
| Food | Poutine, crepes, and bacon on everything is always a strong selling point…we hear that’s why Lena Dunham is headed back | No one cooks up better comfort food than a Mexican mom serving up some fresh beans and breakfast molletes |
OUTLOOK: Early polling is showing that Canada has the early lead, but we all know the fickle nature of the polls. And a Bieber homecoming could quickly shift the advantage to Mexico. Emigration heat map coming soon!
PREDICTION FOR USA: Well, looks like That’s so Raven 2 is going to have to be put on hold, and much to Cartman’s chagrin, the states may be losing the loveable Amy Schumer. On the bright side, there won’t be too many crappy reality TV shows springing up, because reality TV has now become the news.
Leave a comment and let us know what you think!
Well since Monopoly is now taking suggestions…
It has come to our attention that the powers that be at the Monopoly headquarters are now holding a vote for possible properties on the newest edition coming out, Monopoly Australia. This got our experts thinking, and we have some other ideas for some family fun filled board game. We decided to throw out some suggestions to the Hasbro and see what sticks.
POLITICAL EDITION: With such a plethora of content overflowing from the news, social media, and wikileaks, shouldn’t be tough making a bipartisan Monopoly! Throw in some stops like Trump University and the Clinton server, pieces such as Anthony’s weiner, Donald’s hat, and Hillary’s cell phone, along with chance cards for free education, indictment, and secrets leaked go to jail….unless you have enough money to buy out the FBI director. And of course, there is a safe space.
ALABAMA MONOPOLY: Would be a great seller in the south…fun chance cards like go directly to Iron Bowl, good day noodling collect $15, pay Nick Saban twice the allotted amount, and pickup truck broke down pay $200. Could also have pieces such as a football, fishing pole, a rocket….and well….that’s pretty much it….only three player.
MEXICAN MONOPOLY: Could have economical places to purchase in Tijuana all the way up to luxury hotels on the waterfront in Cancun. Of course it would be played with pesos, chance cards such as water poisoning and roadside robberies, and have pieces beer bottle, sombrero, mariachi, and poncho. And the best part, $100 from original Monopoly can buy the whole board!
If you have any other Monopoly ideas let us know!
Can the Goat withstand Rocky?
With the two most historic underdogs of all time battling it out, this year’s World Series is sure to put the “classic”, in fall classic. Both of these teams have climbed and clawed their way to the top of their respective leagues, and now are trying their best to clinch the title. But this is no easy task when your team is said to be CURSED!!! One of these teams will rise from the proverbial ashes of their troubled past and kick their curse, while the other is destined for another decade or five of mediocrity. Will the curse of Rocky Colavito be able to hold the Windians back? Or does the goat of the Cubs spell doom for the beloved boys from the north side? We’re here to break it down.
| The Curse of the Billy Goat | The Curse of Rocky Colavito | |
| Origin | Placed on the Cubs in 1945 when Billy Sianis was kicked out of the world series for his goat disturbing fellow fans…now every Oxi day is a bring your bovid to the ballpark day! | Bestowed upon the Indians after they traded Rocky Colavito to the Detroit Tigers for Harvey Kuenn…since then it’s been bad news for the Indians. |
| Beatin’ the bane | Well when you insult an old Greek man’s goat, you must pay the repercussions, or maybe just spray some windex on it? | Seems like a sacrifice of a chicken to Jobu might not be enough, but whatever you do, do not steal his rum…very bad |
CUBS: We’re sure Murphy the goat had no idea his pugnacious odor was going to be the undoing of the beloved bubblegum boys. However the revamped Cubbies, led by their new fearless leader Clark the cub, might be able to put their past haunts behind them using some old school witchcraft. Look for some hidden ball tricks and maybe even some voodoo vaseline on the pitcher’s cap to give them an edge.
INDIANS: We’ll see if the curse of the great home run champion of 1959 holds up, but Cleveland also has some other demons to flush out as well. The little known curse of Chief Wahoo, along with the calamity that is Cleveland sports (although things are looking up), pose formidable opponents wherever the gang turns. Maybe it’s really the curse of fiery lake? Watch out for the Indians to use whatever means necessary to beat the burden, whether it’s KFC to go, or sacrificing “Trader” Lane’s book to successful general managing.
Leave a comment and let us know what you think!
Who makes the scarier clown???
In honor of the second Presidential debate, we thought we’d put our second edition of Trump v Hillary. I’m sure we have all heard about the clowns luring kids into the woods, but what about the clowns enticing voters to the ballot boxes? This election season has been one amazing circus with each trick more blood-curdling than the last, so what better than comparing the two most feared clowns in the big top, Trump and Hillary! Who has what it takes to spook the electorate straight to the ballot box? We’re here to find out!
| Donald Trump | Hillary Clinton | |
| Victims | Seems that the Trump Clown has been and equal opportunity petrifier, and is able to terrorize pretty much anything in his path | Hillary has been looking to the young naive Bernie voters for some good hair-raising fun, we’re not sure if she has any takers though |
| Location | We think you’re most likely to find Clown Donald behind a wall ready to pounce, or maybe a tour bus | The Clinton Clowns are usually found hanging around big banks and hedge funds trying to scare away wikileaks |
| Scariest Feature | No doubt, it has to be the hair, 100%….well, maybe the makeup…. or the puckered lips…or maybe his immigration policy | Watchout for the Pinocchio nose of Hillary, if you’re not careful it might poke ya! |
| Weapon of Choice | Microphone: Tread lightly around Trump with a mic and tape recorder, you never know what sinister things lie in the abyss of “the cloud” | Cell Phone: We’ve only heard rumors of the anguish she can cause wielding such a device |
CONCLUSION: Hillary’s email vanishing act compliments Trump’s embarrassing emergences from his past very well. Seems both these clowns love to keep the unsuspecting observers on their toes and we never know when another startling report of a scare will surface. This is going to be tough for us to say definitively who gives us the greater trepidation, but rest assured this is going to be one frightful Halloween we won’t forget!
Leave a comment and let us know what you think!
Experts Debate 