Your wife drags you and your family out to the mall for another arduous day of shopping monotony and frustration then BOOM, little Johnny sees Santa and it’s all over. Shopping is now looking pretty exciting compared to waiting in line behind some girl who feels compelled to rehearse what she is going to say to Santa for 2 hours. Now ordinarily this situation is dreaded by any parent with a heartbeat, but today is your lucky day! We debate the ultimate mall Santa! Jack Black and Zach Galifianakis go head to head spreading holiday cheer within the confines of your local shopping center!
Now this one is a little different that usual, because we have seen a sneak peek at how both these Santas would act, with Jack Black trying to cheer up Debbie Downer and Zach G. doing his own Santa interpretation on the podcast Comedy Bang! Bang! But that won’t stop us from giving you our expertly broken down analysis!
| Jack Black | Zach Galifianakis | |
| Setting | It might be hard to pin down this wrestling Santa. Could be making surprise appearances all over, but unfortunately you may have to sit through an opening act. | Now obviously we’ve seen where Zacha Clause hangs out, and the couch really didn’t cut it for us, so we were suggesting some sort of fern integration or possibly an outdoor setting |
| Outfit | Now the Jolly Jack we saw in Debbie Downer stuck to the traditional Santa look, but our suggestions might be to spice it up a bit with maybe a leather studded belt, braided beard, and sleeveless jacket | Zach may have lost his advantage here because he already has the beard working for him, but he’s been losing the signature Santa build in favor of a more Bradley Cooper type physique |
| What to watch for | We think it’d be tough for Jack Black to keep in his inner melodies, so all we can do is hope for a musical interlude every 100-125 kids to break up the monotony of all the little 8 year olds asking for a new iPad | Be careful not to miss the slight pervy innuendos that Galifianakis loves to throw around. His humor would definitely play to the parents, at least we’d hope so. |
THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT – Well when it comes to spirit, no one outdoes Mr. Black, but as we have seen before, even his jovial enthusiasm can be dampered by a downer. Galifianakis has a more steady persistence to him and knows how to keep even the worst of situations from having an influence on his conviviality….or whatever emotion he has. Either way, this one is a win win.
Leave a comment and let us know whose lap you’d rather sit on!
Experts Debate 