As we find ourselves again at the dawn of yet another football season, the time has come for the fantasy enthusiasts to once again draft their always hopefully, yet consistently underperforming, fantasy football team. This season we’ve decided to take a look into the fantasy league of DC’s finest villains as they look to climb the ranks into fantasy immortality. We got the rare opportunity to take a peek at their draft board. Here’s the breakdown

SCORING: Points are awarded for:

• Suspended games (2 pts per game)
• Assault charges (1 pts per charge plus .5 pts for every person assaulted)
• Drug related incidents (1 pts per incident plus.5 pts for every different drug associated)
• DUIs (1 pt per arrest plus .25 pts for any other citations)
• Anything involving guns (1pt per gun plus .25 pts per bullet fired)
• Jail time (1 pt per day of service during season)
• NFL fines (1 pt for every 5k of fines)

ROSTER: Each teams active roster consists of:

• 1 QB
• 1 RB/WR/TE
• 1 Defensive player
• 1 Utility
• 1 Coach

BREAKDOWN:

• Tom Brady’s Soft Balls: We like the team the league commissioner put together. A great 3rd round pick in Marcell Dareus. Draft Grade – B
• Adrian BeterSon: Alot of domestic violence and assault potential on this team, but might be loaded too heavy towards the household arrests. Draft Grade – C+
• BatManziel Begins: Very balanced put together by Harley, almost too balanced. Most likely auto-drafted. Draft Grade – B+
• Beats by Ray: Couple wild cards could possibly lead El Diablo to the ship, but needs a big year from the Cowboy backup. Draft Grade – C
• Tebowned: Boomerang drafted as we would expect and hopes for quite a few comebacks to turn his team around. Draft Grade – D+
• Don’t VonTaze Me Bro: We like how the Croc drafted big. Pound for pound the most promising for some assaults and maybe even a few suspensions. Draft Grade – A-
• All I Do is Winston, Winston, Winston! – We like the balance of talent Slipknot has assembled with his squad. Could climb to the top barring any tragic fatality. Draft Grade – B
• inVickus: Has great potential. Believed to be another auto-drafted team. Katana is definitely gambling with Kathryn Smith. Draft Grade – C+
• Kaep N Your Ass: No better team chemistry and attitude than the Joker assembled team. There are no locker room quarlers under Bill Belichick. Draft Grade – B+

PREDICTION: Who knows what will happen? That’s why they play the games! Leave a comment and let us know what you think!